Dancing Fools
by Persiana13
Summary: A certain insane author subjects the Justice League to one his more insane ideas. My parody on Dancing with the Stars. Let me introduce to you: Dancing with the Heroes! Laugh Riots abound! Complete!
1. Chapter 1

**Dancing Fools**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I Own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos._

Chapter 1: The Insane Plot Begins

Flash asked,

"Why did he call us here again?"

Wonder Woman said worriedly,

"I don't know, Flash. It's probably one of Persiana13's more insane ideas."

Diablos looked around,

"Farrah's not here, either."

Superman shook his head,

"I don't even want to know what those two are cooking up."

Green Arrow grumbled,

"I bet she's sleeping with him. One of the perks about being the star in your fiction is you get to sleep with the writer and figure out ways to torture the rest of the mainstream universe."

Diablos shook his head,

"Persiana13 isn't that bad."

He noticed everyone's looks at the red-eyed hero,

"Oh, come on. He's tortured us at least once, especially his star."

Wonder Woman asked

"Diablos, how can you not think that Persiana13 is the most insane, self-centered, egotistical…

Diablos' eyes widened,

"Diana…"

Wonder Woman continued,

"Masochistic, devious, ludicrous, evil…"

Diablos said,

"Uh, Diana, you really should turn around."

Wonder Woman scowled,

"He put my underwear on E-bay. Who does that man think he is?"  
**The guy that gives you your paychecks.**

Wonder Woman blinked and turned,

"Did I ever tell you you're handsome?"

Farrah shook her head ,

"Don't bother, princess. We heard everything."

**Yeah, I hate to fire you in this economy. Although, I could give you a glowing recommendation to Playboy and…**

Wonder Woman said,

"I'll shut up now."

**I figured you would.**

Superman asked,

"Are you going to tell us what we're all doing here?"

**Yes I am. **

The author moved out to a podium raised above the stage,

**My brothers and sisters, I have seen the light-.**

Flash teased,

"It's an oncoming train."

The heroes snickered at that. The author glared,

**Do you really want me to write you're Shayera's lover? I can make that happen, you know.**

Hawkgirl slapped Flash upside the head,

"Shut up, stupid!"

**Thank you. As I was saying, I have seen the light. I have found inspiration in my dreams.**

Hawk snickered,

"I bet it's when he has too much coffee and mint chocolate chip ice cream."

The author shook his head and continued,

**We have a new show idea. Dancing Fools!**

Farrah explained,

"We're going to pair up members of the Justice League, and, every week, they'll dance for America!"

Wonder Woman raised her hand,

"Isn't it like that show 'Dancing with the Stars', and you're ripping it off?"

**Do I look like the Fox Network to you? **

Flash quipped,

"No, they're actually snappier dressers."

The author shook his head,

**Now, Farrah and I have compiled a list of people participating in this event, and, after the couples are introduced, we'll meet our judges. Now, Farrah can't participate because she and I collaborated on this, but she is in charge of all the dance outfits.**

Wonder Woman groaned,

"We're dead."

Farrah grinned,

"Chill, Di. It'll be fun for me to dress you all up."

Batman said,

"I'm not doing this."

He began to leave.

**I wouldn't try to escape, Batman. The doors are all locked until I go down the list.**

Batman growled,

"Do you want a concussion?"

**Do you want a lawsuit?**

Flash grinned,

"I think the show's a great idea."

**Good, because you and Shayera are one of the couples.**

Hawkgirl shouted,

"What? Have you lost your mind?"

Superman was stunned ,

"You're asking him?"

Farrah smirked,

"Come on. Let's just play along."

**Green Arrow, you're partner is Black Canary.**

Wonder Woman folded her arms,

"Big surprise there."

**Metamorpho, you're paired up with Crimson Fox.**

Crimson Fox lustfully gazed at Metamorpho,

"_Bonjour, amour_."

Metamorpho pleaded,

"Can I take a rain check on this?"

**No. No cop outs, and no turning back. I already signed the papers.**

Hawk said,

"He forged our signatures."

**Diana, you and Batman are paired up.**

Batman gruffed,

"Figures."

**John Stewart and Vixen, Roy and Donna, and Guy Garnder and Ice.**

John nodded,

"I can do this."

Roy shrugged,

"At least we got a few canon couples."

**And, last but not least; Superman and Fire.**

Fire squealed,

"This is going to be good. I mean, I had doubts before, but I'm not complaining now!" She hugged Superman, grabbing his butt.

Superman squirmed,

"Uh, thank you?"

He glared at Persiana13.

**And now, for our judges.**

Hawk rolled his eyes,

"Oh, goody."

**First up…LEX LUTHOR!**

The chair turned around, and Lex was tied to chair, a gag in his mouth and a lump on his head. Lex said through his muffled mouth,

"MFHAHAHAHMMAHAMAMAAMM!"

Superman was surprised,

"Lex is judging?"

**He couldn't resist coming.**

Wonder Woman asked,

"How did he get the bump on his head?"  
**You don't want to know, trust me. Now, for the second judge…THE JOKER!  
**Joker grinned,

"Hiya, Lexie!"

Superman groaned,

"We're dead."

Wonder Woman rubbed her head,

"Just what we need; two psychotic lunatics in the same room. This is going to end badly."

Joker said to the League,

"Oh come on. Crazy's good for ya. It's done wonders for me!"

Hawk groaned,

"Yeah, you're a barrel of laughs."

**Hey, no comments from the peanut gallery! **

The author pulled out a bean bag gun and fired at Hawk's head. Hawk falls unconscious

**Now, for our third judge…**

The author turned and shouted,

**Catman, what did I tell you about wearing that?**

Catman dressed in a shirt reading 'Persiana is my Mate' said,

"Like my shirt?"

**Get rid of it. **

Catman took off the shirt.

**And the signs **

The author ripped up a 'Persiana Rules' sign.

**And the letters.**

Catman groaned,

"Oh, come on. Those are innocent.

The author snatched the letters from Catman,

**Catman, there is no way in hell Persiana is doing THAT, or THAT, or THAT, or even considering THAT with you. **

The author ripped up letters, pulled out an extra large mallet and slammed it into Catman's head. Catman was delirious,

"Look at the pretty kitties!"

He fell on table, unconscious.

**Now that that's settled, let the show begin!**

Superman wailed,

"We're doomed!"

Next Chapter:

The Show Begins


	2. Chapter 2

**Dancing Fools**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. I do not own Dancing with the Stars, they belong to ABC!_

Chapter 2: The Show Begins

**One Week Later, in the Audience…**

Diablos said,

"You know, Persiana13 may be crazy, but his heart's in the right place."

Dove said flatly,

"Lance, he used a bean-bag cannon to knock out my brother."

Hawk a glazed look in his eyes, said,

"Pretty birdies!"

Blue Beetle asked,

"Who's up first?"

Diablos shrugged,

"I don't know. I guess we'll here something soon."

Lex yelled,

"LET ME OUT THIS MINUTE! YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYERS, PERSIANA13!"

Booster Gold asked,

"Did he really have to take the gag off?"

A compartment in table opened up and a large hand with a mallet knocked Lex unconscious. Diablos smirked,

"I guess he thought of everything."

Supergirl said,

"I never thought I'd feel bad for Persiana13."

J'onn asked,

"You feel bad for him, Kara?"  
Supergirl shrugged,

"Yeah, he's the one that has to put up with Lex."

The theme song to Dancing with the Stars played and Persiana13 and Farrah entered. Persiana13 was wearing a fine black tux. Farrah was wearing a scandalous red strapless gown and high heels, also in red. The author said,

**Ladies and Gentlemen; good evening to you all, and welcome to Dancing with the Heroes! **

Farrah grinned,

"Tonight, we can promise three things; talented dancers, hilarious antics, and probably, by the end of the show, we'll all be cancelled!"

**These people have talent? **

The author shrugged,

**Well, let's meet our judges. First up…LEX LUTHOR!  
**Lex grinned,

"Pretty girls…"

**Next up…JOKER!**

Joker smirked,

"Hey, Lex. No sleeping on the job!"

He slapped Lex's back, sending electrical volt through Lex. Lex screamed,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

**Can you two quit clowning around? I'm having my moment here.**

Booster called out from the audience,

"I get those moments in the bathroom."

Booster then got shot with the bean-bag gun,

"OW!"  
**One more word out of you, Booster, and I'll personally FedEx your ass back to the twenty-fifth century!**

Booster whimpered,

"I'll be good."

**Now, for our third judge…sad to say folks, but Catman could not be here tonight due to a pressing engagement.**

Farrah asked,

"Was he kidnapped by your readers again?"

**I thought he was kidnapped by that fan club you have.**

Black Canary asked off camera,

"Farrah has a fan club?"  
Miss Marvel said off camera,

"Farrah has fans?"

**Hey, Carol! You're not even supposed to be on this show! **

The author turned,

**Let's meet our first dance couple. While you watch them, I'll go find a new judge. **

The author walked off, carrying a mallet, bag, rope, and gag.

Farrah said,

"Our first dance couple of the evening-."

Hawkgirl entered and was furious,

"PERSIANA!"

She was wearing a VERY revealing yellow and red dress, practically no decency at all. Booster was wide-eyed,

"Damn, Shayera! You actually look like a real woman with that on!"  
Hawkgirl yelled,

"DIE!"

She flew at Booster, a fight erupting in the stands.

Farrah blinked,

"O-K. I was going to say that the first dance couple this evening is Black Canary and Green Arrow doing the Waltz."

The author walked back on,

**Found my third judge. **

The author dragged a bag containing a dazed Miss Marvel, bound and gagged, 

**You would not believe how hard it was to convince her to come and do the show.**

Farrah whined,

"Why did you have to bring her? You know I don't like working with her."

Miss Marvel had a silly grin,

"Pretty blue birdies."

She giggled.

**It was either her or Circe.**

Circe shouted off camera,

"Not on your life, pal! You want to be turned into a pig and eaten by your co-host?"

**She has some other things to work on. **

The author looked up at Hawkgirl strangling Booster,

**Oh, great. I'm gone five minutes and this show is already tanking more than the XFL. **The author pulled out a bean bag gun and fired two bean bags at Hawkgirl and Booster. Both were unconscious.

**Problem solved. Let's get this show started.**

_**After Black Canary and Green Arrow do the Waltz…**_

Farrah pretended to wipe a tear away,

"That was a stirring performance, indeed. Judges, what do you think?"

Lex said,

"I, for one, found it to be quite boring. A six."  
Canary was stunned,

"SIX? We practiced a long time for this!"  
Joker shook his head,

"Geez, Lex. You're such a kill joy. They deserve at least a seven."

Green Arrow was surprised,

"What? A seven?"

Miss Marvel shrugged,

"Well, I thought it was great. An eight from me, even thought she's not as pretty a blonde as me."

Canary yelled,

"DIE!"

She tackled Miss Marvel, a cat fight erupting.

Hawk grinned,

"Sweet! I'm getting my camera!"

Diablos groaned,

"I'm beginning to think this may not have been the best idea in the world."

He got shot with a bean bag,

"OW!"

Next Chapter:

More couples, and more insanity!


	3. Chapter 3

**Dancing Fools**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance Diablos._

Chapter 3: Dance Floor Delirium

The author was drawing all over Miss Marvel's face. He looked up at the camera and hid the marker on Lex,

**And, we're back. Now, for our next couple, Guy Gardner and Ice is one of those couples that's about as opposite as north is to south. Or, in some cases, Lex is to Joker.**

Lex yelled,

"You have no right to keep me here!"

He then looked at the marker,

"What's this doing here?"  
Miss Marvel looked up,

"Wha?"

She looked in a mirror, horrified,

"WHO DREW ON ME?"

She saw Lex with the marker,

"DIE!"

A fight erupted. The author rolled his eyes,

**I knew I should've brought a bigger mallet. **

The author pressed a button on the table. Two large mallets popped up and slammed both Lex and Miss Marvel unconscious. Diablos blinked,

"Is it me, or does he like hitting people over the head?"

Farrah shook her head,

"No, hon. It's not you. Anywho, let's bring out Guy Gardner and Ice!"

Guy Gardner walkd out, dressed in tux with blue tie. Ice walked out in sparkling demure blue gown. Farrah said,

"The dance is the Foxtrot. Think you can do it?"  
Guy scoffed,

"Do you know who you're talking to?"

He got slapped upside head by Ice,

"OW!"

Ice said,

"Now, Guy. Let's just dance."

As the two were dancing somewhat gracefully, Guy accidentally sliped and Ice pressed her high heel into his shoulder. The audience winced. Guy screamed,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! It hurts!"

Ice was horrified,

"I am so sorry, Guy. I'll make some ice for you."

She created ice and encased Guy in a frozen glacier. Ice blushed,

"Oopsie. I kind of overdid it."

**That's Ok. I have just the thing to warm him up. **

The author walked off camera and returned with a flame thrower,

**Burn! Burn, baby, burn!**

The author cackled maniacally. Booster blinked,

"I think he enjoys that a little more than he should."

Blue Beetle (nodded,

"Yeah, I don't think you're supposed to see your bones when you defrost."

Guy screamed,

"! It burns!"

Lex laughed,

"Now, that was a dance! A nine!"

Joker shook his head,

"Oh, come on, Lex. You've got no eye for talent. A six is generous."

Miss Marvel gruffed,

"I agree with the clown. Six."

Farrah rolled her eyes,

"And a prime example why Carol's a bitch, ladies and gentlemen."

Miss Marvel roared,

"COME HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE!"

**All right, that's enough. Guy, Ice; thank you. **

Guy limped off and Ice left. The author said,

**Now, for our next dancing couple-.**

Diana growled off camera,

"I am not coming out! This thing makes me look like a stripper!"

**I don't think Bats is gonna complain!**

Diana said off camera,

"Ollie tried to stuff hundreds in my dress!"

Farrah shook her head,

"Oh, come on, Di. I spent a long time making that dress."

**Didn't you just steal it from one of Vixen's shows? In fact, didn't you steal all these dresses from Vixen's modeling shows?  
**Farrah shifted her eyes,

"There is no evidence any of these dresses were stolen, although they do have to be back on the rack by sunrise."

Diablos groaned,

"My girlfriend is an insane kleptomaniac. I hate my life.

He the got hit with a mallet,

"OW! What was that for?"

**So you'd shut up! Let's get to another couple while we're still on the air.**

Booster said,

"Which shouldn't be too long."

He got hit with a bean bag,

"OW!"

**Finally, a little order around here. Now, our next couple is none other than Diana and Batman. **

The author walked off camera. Batman dressed in a black tux, walked on,

"I will get you for this."

Wonder Woman cried out off camera,

"NO! I am not going out! Nothing you can do will change my mind!"

The author walked back on,

**Well, I apologize, ladies and gentlemen. It appears Wonder Woman is battling a serious case of hepatitis and-.**

Wonder Woman stormed on camera, dressed in a scandalous black gown,

"WHAT? I don't have Hepatitis!"

**Good, for a second I thought I was worried. Diana and Batman are now going to do one of the most erotic and sensual dances we could think of; the Tango!**

Batman: This is a blatant attempt to pair us up, isn't it?  
Farrah snickered,

"Actually, Bats. It was my idea."

She cackled evilly. Diablos sighed,

"My girlfriend does this just to mess with me, I know it."

Farrah purred,

"Cheer up, Lance. After the show's over, we can invent some new dance moves on your bed."  
Diablos groaned,

"She's as shameless as Tigra."

Tigra shouted off camera,

"I heard that!"

As Batman and Wonder Woman did the tango, Diana did not realize her own strength and accidentally lifted Batman's belt up high. So high in fact, he was singing a soprano. The audience winced. Wonder Woman was shocked,

"Batman! I am so sorry! Are you all right?"

Batman said in a falsetto voice,

"Never better."

Lex laughed,

"Funny. I give a nine."

Joker cackled,

"Hey, Batsy! Feeling a little…tight? I'll give you an eight!"

Miss Marvel groaned,

"No, just no. A five."

Wonder Woman scowled,

"How dare you!"

She tackled Miss Marvel, a cat-fight erupting.

**Well, when we return after this commercial break-.**

Diablos blinked,

"People are actually watching this?"

He got hit with a mallet,

"OW! Farrah!"

Farrah shouted,

"No interupty the nicey announcer!"

**As I was saying, when we return, John Stewart and Vixen will show us the Samba, and Flash and Hawkgirl will dance the Ramba.**

Booster asked,

"Any idea why he picked those two?"

Diablos rubbed his head,

"No, and I don't want to know."

Next Chapter:

You guessed it: more Dances, more insanity!


	4. Chapter 4

**Dancing Fools**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos._

Chapter 4: Ramba Rumble and Samba Scrap

The author was talking on his cell phone,

**What do you mean I'm ripping you off? Hey, if it wasn't for you guys, I wouldn't have a show to rip off! You wanna sue me, come and get it! You'll have to sue me and the Justice League! **

He looked up, noticing the camera,

**I'll have to call you back. **

He hung up,

**Welcome back to Dancing Fools. Let's take a look at the score board.**

Booster looked around,

"I don't see a score board."

He got hit with a bean bag,

"OW! Look at the pretty stars!"

He then fell unconscious.

Farrah lowered the bean bag gun, explaining,

"Our current scores are as follows; Wonder Woman and Batman lead with 22 out of a possible 30 points, Guy Gardner and Ice have 21 points, and Black Canary and Green Arrow also have 21 points."

Black Canary said off camera,

"All because of that stupid idiot Lex!"

Farrah snapped,

"Shut up, Canary!"

Farrah fired off bean bag rounds. Canary cried out,

"OW! Stop it; that hurts!"

The author rolled his eyes,

**For our next couple, these two have definitely had a history. I mean, with their antics in the Watchtower, one often has to wonder if there is something between them their not willing to admit.**

Hawkgirl shouted off camera,

"What are you doing to my man, Vixen?"

Vixen snickered off camera,

"Probably the same thing you're doing to Flash right now!"

**Let me introduce to you Vixen and John Stewart, who will perform the Samba! **

John entered dressed in stylish shirt and pants. Vixen was in a sexy flowery dress. As the two began the Samba, Vixen almost danced with uncanny fluidity and grace. Everyone in the audience, including the judges, was into it. As the dance finishes, Hawkgirl tackled Vixen, a cat-fight erupting)

Hawkgirl shouted,

"Bitch! You used your powers!"

Vixen screamed,

"Persiana13 did not say we couldn't use our powers!"

**She's right, Shayera. I never said powers were off limits here. **

Lex checked the rule book,

"Yes, you did. It's right-"

Lex got hit in the head with a mallet and fell unconscious.

**As I was saying, you can use your powers. Now, let's go to the judges!  
**Lex was delirious,

"Ten…Ten…"

Joker:…TEN!

Miss Marvel nodded,

"Ten for me too!"

Farrah: That's a total of thirty points! John and Vixen are in the lead!

Hawkgirl looked up from her catfight,

"WHAT?"

**That's gonna be a tough act to follow, Shayera. Luckily, you and the Flash are up next with the Ramba!**

Booster said,

"Fifty bucks says Flash gets a perfect score, and the chicks fight again."

Vixen and Hawkgirl glared,

"We heard that!"

**Hey, if you're gonna make bets on the contestants, at least give me a piece of the action. I'll take nothing less than forty percent!**

Booster was stunned,

"That's outrageous!"

**Price of doing business, pal. **

The author pulled out a rubber hose and sprayed Booster with it.

**Now, shut up and let's get this show on the road!**

As Flash and Shayera did the Ramba, Shayera uses her wings in the dance. Flash did a break dance in the middle with his speed, which ended up igniting Hawkgirl's wings.

Hawkgirl screamed,

"Put it out! Put it out! Wally, you're gonna die for this!"

The author rolled his eyes,

**I work with idiots. **

The insane author pulled out a large hose and shot water at Shayera. Hawkgirl went sailing through studio wall, into the supply room. A barrel of molasses and several yellow feather boxes broke.

Farrah snickered,

"I bet Shayera gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'hot wings'!"

The audience burst into laughter.

Booster asked,

"Hey, do I smell barbecue chicken?"

Joker cackled,

"No, it's rotisserie!"

The audience laughed louder.

Hawkgirl stormed back onto stage,

"YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, PERSIANA13!"

She then realized she was covered in yellow feathers and molasses,

"What is this?"

**If you're lucky, it could be your new gig at KFC. I heard they need a new spokesperson.**

Booster cat called,

"I even thought of a great new slogan; Our wings are so much hotter than yours."

Hawkgirl roared,

"DIE!"

She lunged at Booster and a fight broke out.

Diablos rolled his eyes,

"Booster, learn to keep your mouth shut."

Lex laughed,

"That is too funny. Ten!"

Joker cackled manically,

"I can't take it anymore! Ten!"

Miss Marvel held her sides,

"Ten! Just make it stop, it hurts!"

Farrah said,

"With a total of thirty points, Flash and Shayera are now tied with John Stewart and Vixen for first place."

Vixen, off camera, screamed,

"What? I'm tied with her!"

**That's life. When we return, hopefully Booster is still alive, and Crimson Fox and Metamorpho do the Charleston! Now, where did I keep that knock out gas?**

Next Chapter:

More of the same!


	5. Chapter 5

**Dancing Fools**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos._

Chapter 5: Double the Pleasure, Double the Pain

**And, we're back. Now, for our next couple-.**

Constance stormed on stage, wearing scandalous light brown gown,

"Persiana13, I demand to dance with Rex!"

Vivian also stormed on stage, also wearing a similar gown,

"He's mine!"

Constance screamed,

"I love him!

Vivian cried out,

"So do I!"

Booster, a cast on his arm, said,

"And I thought those fights between Shayera and Vixen were vicious."

Diablos shook his head,

"Is that all you can think about is cat-fighting? Are you THAT shallow?"

Guy crowed off camera,

"You wouldn't be saying that if Farrah and Carol were going at it!"

There is the sound of something hitting Guy's head,

"OW! Tora!"

Diablos groaned,

"Why am I even here again?"

Farrah said simply,

"Because you love me."

Diablos asked,

"What does Donna see in you?"  
Wonder Girl said off camera,

"She has the cutest tail!"  
Farrah blinked nervously,

"OK, that was very uncomfortable for me. I'm gonna go see how Fire and Superman are doing?"

Farrah left the set in a hurried pace.

Blue Beetle got worried,

"I really hope those two ladies down there can settle their differences soon. Rex looks like he can't stand being the rubber band man any more."

Metamorpho, one arm stretched toward Constance, the other to Vivian, cried out,

"HELP! Persiana13, do something!"  
**I have to do everything around here. **

The author pulled out a shotgun and fired into ceiling. Silence soon followed,

**Now that we have order… **

A satellite crashes into studio. On the side panel, it read 'Property of ABC'.

**Oh, come on! That's not supposed to happen!**

Martian Manhunter stood and delivered psychic jolt to both Constance and Vivian. Both were silenced,

"I could not allow either one of them to get hurt. Constance was the one that signed the contract. She should get to dance with Metamorpho."

Constance taunted,

"Better luck next time, sister."

Vivian fumed,

"This is not over, sister. I will have my revenge!"

**You two could always head butt each other, like that French guy did at that soccer game.**

Vivian smirked,

"Oh, don't worry, Persiana13. I'll get my revenge in a more…fashionable way."

She laughed evilly and maniacally, and left.

Constance shrugged,

"Whatever. Let's get crackin'!"

Metamorpho groaned,

"Help me!"

As Metamorpho and Crimson Fox danced the Charleston, the audience was into it. Just then…

Constance (squirmed,

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Booster asked,

"What's that red stuff all over Crimson Fox?"  
Farrah walked back on and sniffed,

"It's pig's blood!"

Vivian cackled,

"That'll teach you to go after MY man!"

Constance a crazed look in her eye, shouted,

"DIE!"

She leapt up in the air and throttled Vivian, fighting erupting.

**Oh, well. So much for a civilized contest. Judges, what do you think?**

Lex had a vacant look in his eyes,

"Uh, uh, uh…"

Joker said,

"Snap out of it Lex!"

He shocked Lex with an electric buzzer in his hand.

Lex yelled in pain,

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! Nine!"

Joker smirked,

"I give it an eight."

Miss Marvel said,

"Well, it was good until the pig blood part. I give it an eight as well."

Farrah commented,

"25 points. Not bad, Rex. Not bad at all."

She took a bucket of left over pig's blood and slammed the bucket on Miss Marvel's head.

Miss Marvel shrieked,

"FARRAH! COME BACK HERE AND DIE!"

Miss Marvel began chasing Farrah all over the set.

Farrah taunted,

"Hey, Barbie! Is this for the next crappy Carrie remake, or is that your usual make up?"

Miss Marvel screamed,

"WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!"

The chase went off camera.

The author rolled his eyes,

**She just had to do it, didn't she? She had to tick off Miss Marvel.**

Diablos pointed out,

"Well, you technically did shoot down a satellite that belonged to the company you're ripping this show off from."

He got hit with a mallet,

"OW! Farrah, he hit me with a mallet!"

Farrah entered,

"Persiana13, did you hit my boyfriend?"

**It was for a good reason.**

Farrah nodded,

"Carry on then."

Diablos groaned,

"Thanks for the support!"

The author sighed,

**When we return, Wonder Girl and Roy do the salsa, and hopefully we'll have things back to normal around here.**

Lex: groaned,

"Whatever that is!"

He got shot with a bean bag,

"OW!"  
**Shut up! Now, who's gonna help me move this crappy satellite out of my studio?**

Next Chapter:

The Salsa gets hot for Roy and Donna, a little too hot for Diana's taste.


	6. Chapter 6

**Dancing Fools**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos._

Chapter 6: Salsa Smackdown

The author was talking on his cell phone,

**What do you mean I shot down your satellite? Since when can a shotgun have that kind of range? Do you honestly think for a second this is gonna stand up in court? What do you mean it's a matter of national security? Since when does the government care that Dancing with the Stars is on? It's a conspiracy I tell you! **

The author hung up the phone.

Diablos said,

"Well, he's gonna have some explaining to do."  
J'onn observed,

"I honestly did not know a shotgun had so much destructive power."

Blue Beetle asked,

"Could he have at least shot down his own satellite?"

He got hit with a bean bag,

"OW!"

Kara walked back up to the audience stands,

"That was a lot harder than I thought. I mean, who knew a satellite could be so heavy."

Booster asked,

"Wait, does Persiana13 have his own satellite?"

**Yeah, I hijacked a FOX one. We're piggybacking on their signal. Can we get this show started now?**

Diablos groaned,

"I can't believe people are actually watching this. Who's next on the program?"  
Farrah smiled,

"Roy and Donna are going to perform a very sexy dance called the salsa!"

Booster said,

"I thought salsa was something you dipped chips in."

He got hit with a mallet,

"OW! Farrah!"

Farrah screamed,

"No interrupty the kitty! Let's bring them out!"

Donna entered wearing scandalous orange gown, orange floor in her hair. She purred seductively,

"Hello, Farrah."

The audience immediately turned to Farrah.

Farrah groaned,

"Someone shoot me."

She looked at Donna,

"Don't get me wrong, Donna. You're hot in that dress and everything, but I'm just not into girls."

Roy entered in attire appropriate for salsa dancing,

"I can't believe my girlfriend is into other women."

Donna smirked,

"I am an Amazon after all. I do have an eye for certain women."

She seductively winked at Farrah.

Farrah huddled near Diablos,

"Hide me, Lance."

Diablos said,

"I'm gonna take a guess and say Donna still has a thing for you, am I right?"

**Ya think, Lance? **

Farrah scowled,

"Donna, stop staring at me like that! And women say men treat them like objects."

Donna pouted,

"Oh well. Let's dance, Roy."

As Roy and Donna did the sexy salsa dance, things get heated up quickly.

Hippolyta entered,

"Did I miss any-?"

She immediately noticed Roy putting his hands on Donna's hips and backside. The queen became enraged,

"WHAT IS THAT MAN DOING TO MY DAUGHTER?"

She pulled out a sword and charged the stage,

"DIE, MALE!"

Roy shouted,

"YIPES! HELP ME!"

Speedy ran off stage, Hippolyta in hot pursuit. Wonder Woman joind the chase, brandishing an axe

The author blinked,

**Ok, I should have seen THAT coming.**

Farrah shook her head,

"Persiana13, did you invite Hippolyta to this thing?"

**It was a good idea at the time. **

Diablos groaned from the audience,

"So was this show!"

He got hit with a bean bag,

"OW! Farrah!"

Farrah blew the smoke off of the bean bag gun,

"I'll go try and cool off the two Amazons. Let's hear what the judges have to say. She walked off the set with an extra large mallet.

Lex said flatly,

"I found the performance to be…dull. A five."

Joker laughed,

"I liked the part where Roy got chased off of the set. A nine!"

Miss Marvel rolled her eyes,

"Whatever. An eight."

Donna was surprised,

"Only a 22? Are you out of your minds?"  
Roy ran across camera,

"HELP ME! DONNA, THEY'RE GOING TO KILL ME!"  
Hippolyta swung violently,

"DIE, YOU MALE BASTARD!"

Wonder Woman also swung violently,

"HARPER, COME BACK HERE! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET AWAY THIS TIME!"

Farrah comically ran in high heels, swinging her mallet,

"Hey, we need him for the show!"

**Yeah, you can't kill Speedy. He's under contract!**

The sounds of objects crashing off camera could be heard, as well as swearing and hitting of hard surfaces.

_**A few minutes later…**_  
Farrah entered, dragging in Speedy's body,

"Hippolyta and Diana are down for the count. I thought Donna would want this back. She deliberately stepped on Roy with high heel, walking over to the host.

**Well, let's take a look at the scores. Vixen and John Stewart have thirty points, Hawkgirl and Flash also have 30 points, tied for first, Metamorpho and Crimson Fox have 25 points, Wonder Woman and Batman have 22 points, Speedy and Wonder Girl are also tied with 22 points, Guy Gardner and Ice have 21 points, and Black Canary and Green Arrow also have 21 points. When we return, our last couple of the night. Superman and Fire dance the…What are they dancing anyway?**

Farrah shrugged,

"I'm guessing it's gonna be something explicit for our readers."

**Those are always the best. Yep, Superman and Fire is our last couple for the evening.**

Lex sighed,

"Finally."

He got hit with a bean bag,

"OW!"

Next Chapter:

Superman and Fire dance off, but an unexpected guest arrives to set the record straight.


	7. Chapter 7

**Dancing Fools**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos._

Chapter 7: Burning up the Dance Floor

**Welcome back to Dancing with the Heroes. Our final couple tonight is a real treat for all the fans out there.**

Lex exclaimed,

"You have fans?"

He got hit with a mallet,

"OW! You're gonna get sued for this, Persiana13!"

Diablos winced,

"I think it's better if those in the audience decided to keep quiet for the rest of the show."

Booster, who was now in a wheel chair, said,

"Oh, come on. You can't honestly expect that anyone would attack a guy in a wheel chair, would they?"  
Hippolyta screamed off camera,

"PERSIANA13! WHEN I AM RELEASED FROM THIS, I SHALL BEHEAD YOU!"

The author looked at Farrah,

**What exactly did you do to her, anyway?**

Farrah innocently remarked,

"Why, whatever do you mean?"

Wonder Woman said off camera,

"What did you to my mother, Farrah?"

Farrah smiled,

"Letting her know what the feeling of being tied down is like. Why?"

Wonder Woman said off camera,

"I need my lasso."

**You'll get it after the show. Let's bring out our final couple!**

Fire entered, dressed in a scandalous green gown. She was excited,

"I can't wait! I finally get to dance with Superman! It's a dream come true."

**I thought your dream was to sleep with everything in pants aboard the Watchtower.**

Fire scowled,

"How dare you? Do you think I'm some sort of cheap trick?"  
**Yes.**

Guy said off camera,

"She's from Brazil, what do you expect?"

He got hit in the head,

"OW! Tora!"

Fire rolled her eyes,

"I should scorch you alive for saying that. However, I don't want to ruin the dance floor for Superman."

Superman entered, dressed in a tux with green bow tie,

"I look like I should be dressed up for a St. Patrick's Day parade."

Diablos: No, you don't."

He used his powers and turned the black tux to green, adding a green derby with shamrock,

"Now you do!"

The audience burst into laughter.

Fire giggled,

"At least it matches!"

Farrah held her sides,

"Oh my God! Hey, Supes, where's the pot of gold?"

Lex laughed,

"I have to take a picture."

**Here's a camera!**

Superman groaned,

"I am never living this down."

The other dancers were heard laughing off camera, including Batman.

Lois entered the studio,

"Hey, did I come at the right time?"

She noticed Superman and started rolling on the floor in laughter,

"You have to be kidding me! You look like a leprechaun!"

After a few minutes of laughing, the two heroes were ready to dance the samba.

The author looked into the camera,

**Yeah, I know I'm repeating myself. Wanna make something of it? **

Hereloaded the shotgun.

As Fire and Superman danced the samba, the sensuality of the dance reached steamy levels. In fact, Lois started to clench her fists tightly. The dance concluded without incident.

Lex commented,

"Adequate performance. I give an eight."

Joker joked,

"Man of Steel, feet of lead. A six."

Miss Marvel shrugged,

"An eight for me."

Farrah said,

"A total of twenty-two points."

Lois glared at Fire,

"You forgot these ten points!"

Lois reared all her nails like a cat and tackled Fire, a cat-fight ensued. Booster cheered,

"Go, Fire! Kick Lois' ass!"

Supergirl smirked,

"I got a better idea."

She grabbed Booster's wheel chair and threw him into the women's dressing room. Booster screamed off camera as the sounds of hard objects hitting hard surfaces could be heard,

"PAIN! THE PAIN! NO! DON'T USE THAT ON ME! OW! BEETLE, HELP ME!"  
The author rubbed the bridge of his nose,

**This has got to stop. **

Hepulled out a gas mask and sprayed the area with knock out gas.

**That's better. When we return, you get to vote on what couple gets to leave this week's show! Stay tuned!**

Diablos raised a telekinetic shield,

"Yeah, we're not going anywhere until he says we are."

Next Chapter:  
The Grand Finale!


	8. Chapter 8

**Dancing Fools**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos._

Chapter 8: Finale Time!

Diablos observed,

"At least the dancing's over. Now, we'll just have to wait until the votes are tallied."

Blue Beetle said,

"Yeah, I'd never thought it would be like this. If it wasn't for the insanity, this would actually be a good show."

J'onn observed,

"I never knew there were so many styles of dancing. I will have to try this…tango some time."

Firestorm snickered,

"Do it with Fire. She could literally burn up the dance floor!"

Diablos shook his head and then noticed something,

"I'll be right back, guys."

He jumped down and looked at a power outlet. Farrah entered,

"Well, that's our show for this evening. Don't forget to vote and by next week, one couple will be voted off. Make those votes count!"

**Yeah, we don't need hanging chads, like LAST time. **

The author shuddered,  
**Anywho, don't vote until after the show!**

Diablos said,

"Uh, Persiana13? We might have a problem with that."

**Oh, come on, Lance. You're ruining my moment here!**

Diablos lifted an electrical plug,

"It looks like the cameras weren't plugged in."

The author blinked and groaned,

**Oh, you have got to be KIDDING me! I worked real hard on this!**

Firestorm grumbled,

"It's all a rip off anyway."

He got shot with a bean bag,

"OW!"

Farrah was horrified,

"You mean America didn't see how sexy I was?"  
Superman said off camera,

"You mean America didn't see all those humiliating moments?"

**It looks like it.**

Everybody cheered at that moment.

**Hey! All this means is that we'll have to tape everything all over again!  
**At this, all the heroes, with the exception of Joker, Farrah, and Diablos, cleared out of the studio. Diablos looked around,

"Uh, oops?"  
Farrah glared,

"Lance, start running."

Diablos swallowed,

"Uh-oh. !

Help me! She's after me!"

The chase went off camera, Persiana in hot pursuit. Joker shrugged,

"Well, it was fun while it lasted."

**Yeah. **

The author thought for a moment,

**Hey, let's get Chinese!**

As the two left the set, Persiana13 turned back. Joker asked,

"Something wrong, Persiana13?"  
**Just thinking. I get the feeling I forgot something. Ah, well. It's probably not important. **

Hippolyta, still tied up, shouted,

"PERSIANA13! I demand you release me at once! I am a royal of Themysciria! My sisters and I will wage war on you and your madness!"

The two continue to walk.

**Hey, Joker. Do you think I should tell them about that hidden camera that had a live feed on the Internet?**

Joker shook his head,

"Nah, they'll find out anyway."

End of Dancing Fools

Please Read and Review.


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